Thursday, 24 August 2017

Life Lately: Dealing With Insecurities and Loving Myself


The other day someone asked me why I'm so self obsessed on Snapchat. I took a great deal of offense to this and now looking back, I'm not sure why. I'm nowhere near being a narcissist so I won't say I'm obsessed. I'd rather say, I'm in love with myself. I'm aware I'm not perfect, I have my insecurities. But regardless, I choose to love my body and love myself fully aware of the flaws that I have but choosing to look the other way. Sometimes it's hard to completely love yourself when you pick at your flaws and you are constantly reminded of the things you'd like to change. But I've come to understand that our brains are pretty convincing liars and they sometimes make us believe that we are inadequate or less than. This in turn blinds us from seeing and appreciating the true beauty that lies within.

The summer of 2016 was me at my best. I was happy, I was growing, I was living life to the fullest and most of all, I was happy with the person I was. I loved myself absolute and whatever society deemed the norm, I could be less bothered. Somewhere between then and about a month ago, I began to try to fit, I began to hold myself up to someone else's standards and I wasn't happy. My best friend was with me on the nights when I cried myself to sleep and I just couldn't put a finger on it and I asked myself why I wasn't happy.

Now, in the past month, I've found myself, I figured out why I wasn't happy. I stopped caring about myself and began to care about other peoples thought of me. I started trying to fit in. My friends joke that I'm a weirdo and I guess in that one year gap, I stopped being a weirdo and I hated it. Regardless of the looming sense of self doubt, It wasn't a bad year, I learnt new things and met amazing people; some of who have shaped me in more ways than one.

My insecurities exist still. I hate my knees, I hate that I don't have hips, I hate my tiny boobs and bum and the list continues but that doesn't mean that I won't wear a mini skirt or an off shoulder tops because they further highlight my upside down triangle frame. Yes, I have insecurities but I won't let the affect the life I live negatively. I'll look myself in the mirror and tell myself I'm beautiful every morning to shut down the voices telling me otherwise in the back of my head. Wear what I want, do what I want and not allow my insecurities get the best of me because as drake said it once and as he said it best, you only live once.

To the individual who caused this series to start as this is the first of many posts like this, Thank you. Thank you for allowing me reflect on my life and for helping me reaffirm the need for me to rise above my insecurities, live my life to the fullest and for reminding me that society can't dictate my happiness.


Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear from you in the comment section below. xx

10 comments

  1. I guess a lot of us go through this phase where we are so insecure. You look good and are amazing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm glad you found your way back to loving yourself and being happy.

    thoughtsoffola.wordpress.com/2017/08/23/colour-themed-yellow/

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    1. Thanks a lot b. I know and its so unfortunate that quite a lot of us go through this. Took a while and I guess it paid off

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  2. Thank you for this post i really needed this

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    1. No, thank you for coming here. I'm glad I could help

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  3. Beautiful write-up. I hope I get to a point where I can proudly say I've found myself and have worked on my insecurities.

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    1. Thanks a lot. I hope you get there too. It's going to take a lot and it's not the easiest road but trust me, You'll be glad when you find yourself and I'm sure you will

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  4. I'm SOMGOLIBE.Didn't want to comment anonymously but I don't know how to make my name show and it's my first time commenting on a blogger powered blog. Can you help me out?

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    1. Hey, welcome to space. You just have to sign in with your google account :)

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